The loneliest Skater Girl pt.1
“A Tale of 8 wheels and a Dream”
So there is in fact something very accessible in Ohio, that was not so in NYC. Roller skating. It used to be poppin years ago, but time and violence slowly made it go the way of the dinosaur. I’d tried skating in Central Park, but me on 8 wheels… Concrete…Let’s just say it was beyond a bad look.
Fast forward to the present time; Skate Night.
Two joyous nights (for me) a week that I learn and hone my skating superpowers right? Wrong. At first, skate night was an opportunity to wear funky leggings, not be conformed by work or ministry obligations, skate to some music, take breaks during the Cali music sets, it was my woosah. I’m horrible at skating so I didn’t really want much from it other than the opportunity to roll to some music.
Then I saw it. Pairs, groups, skating in tandem. An undeniable sync between two or more people and I realized that I was alone. I was/ am so used to lone wolfing things that seeing this drew me in. At first it was awe, then intrigue. Then a desire to move in sync with people. Who would’ve thought that skating could bring such revelation right?
Week after week I see people moving the way I want to… And I can’t even skate backwards. To quote the great Leroy Green aka “The Master”:
“he does not even have a paint brush… He can not even draw…” (The Last Dragon shout out)
I can’t even draw guys… People are recreating The Starry Night to Get Big and I’m out here making stick figures. Even Van Gogh started someplace though right? I know it sounds mellow dramatic, but this is big for the former New Yorker. I’m saying it out loud. I’m no longer okay with moving alone. I want to link up and sync up with people. I desire relationship and friendship. I can’t do it alone. [i think that’s what we call the revelatory moment]
My footwork hasn’t caught up to my heart, I’m super frustrated, and making friends whilst skating is not as easy as I thought it would be. It reminds me of high school and my beyond novice moves have me feeling exiled from the cool kids crew.
Last week I wanted to give up. But I texted my brother and had a heart to heart with “Mr. Chicago” and I’m still in it. In my strength I don’t have the courage to keep on trying when I see such small results, but I’m gonna ask for God’s grace (yes even in this) and try to continue to get my life at the rink. I hope I don’t give up. I hope there is progress. But tune in to this same bat channel for more updates on this New Yorker no longer in New York.